When I first moved to the United States, I had absolutely no toys. None. Zip. Zero. Nada. I was 6. Then my parents took me to Toys R Us. That became my heaven on earth. Here was a gigantic storage lot(if you will) of toys, divided up into little aisles, each toy in its own category. I felt it was humanly impossible to only bring home one toy, when there were so many choices and variety. Choosing between the newest Barbie doll and Lego pack was like choosing between air and water, both are essential for survival. Toys R Us now is nothingness to me. I can't fathom how i was once so enchanted by..well..nothing. The walls are white. The shelfs are dull. Nothing there serves as amusement for me anymore. It's not even that big.
And my elementary school. I remember it to be the biggest playground in the world. with open classrooms, intimidating monkeybars. I felt like I owned the place. Like the queen of a small country. But now, whenever I do visit, I feel huge, and the school seems tiny. My glory days on that basketball court have passed. I feel stupid. The openness that once consumed me is no more. I feel like I am sufficating.
I am tired. So tired. But this too, will pass one day. This frantically preparing for college, this lack of sleep due to homework. This thinking that I must be the most stressed out student in the world. This self consciousness for other peoples acceptance. This need to be trendy, stylish, etc. This will pass. 5 years from now, highschool will become my Toys R Us. It's glory (or turmoil) will have vanished. But I will still remain. and I will be ok.
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