The verdict is LMU.
I confess that this was not an easy decision at all, but one that forced me to result to: making bar graphs, making pie charts, and then drawing slips out of a hat.
My reasons for choosing LMU are as follows:
In September, when I was still compiling my list of colleges to apply to, I made a decision to commit to serving at SBECC. At the time, I felt very strongly about my commitment, and prayed that if this was the direction that God was leading, that He would open doors for me. And so with that in mind, I applied to the most of the schools in Socal and Boston College/University for my out of states. The waiting period was filled with a lot of doubt and uncertainty; I felt looked down upon by people when I shared about my decision, it seemed as if they thought I was limiting myself and my future, like they were all going off to far places, and I was just...here; all in all, I felt very judged. I felt as if my commitment was wrong. When decisions came back, my ideal doors were not opened up to me. But the question I asked myself was, "Does not having those ideal doors opened change my decision to serve at SBECC? Should it make a difference?" Because my parents preferred that I went to a private school instead of a UC, the choices became Boston College, LMU, and Biola, this is where the struggles really began.
I was attracted to BC for its rank. I didn't want to be judged, I wanted to show people that I wasn't limiting myself. LMU and Biola were options because they were close to SBECC, but I really had no confidence in going to either. The sermon this past Sunday made a huge impact on my decision. One of his main points in his sermon on the Parable of the Talents was that the third servant made decisions selfishly, thus proving to be a hypocrite. He talked also about how God cares only if we are faithful to Him. His point about the servant acting selfishly really made me think about how if I chose BC, it'd be because I felt like I deserved it, and my own accomplishments brought me there. I'd go with confidence in my own abilities, and what I think is best for my future. I would be like the 3rd servant: a hypocrite. Furthermore, I had already made a commitment to serve at SBECC, going to BC just for it's name would be the betrayal of that commitment. If I chose BC, it wouldn't be out of faithfulness to God.
The choice between LMU and Biola was harder than I thought it would be. After my visit to Biola, I was so set on not going there. I felt very trapped and in a bubble there. But after researching LMU, not one website told me that LMU wasn't a superficial party school. The thoughts of not fitting in, not having friends scared me like crazy. On the outside, I might say that Biola was a great option because it offered me more resources for biblical instruction and spiritual growth, but deep down, I knew I wanted Biola because I'd be comfortable there. Even if I felt trapped, I'd rather be there where everyone else was exactly like me, then be at LMU where no one is like me. Again I stumbled on my own selfishness and insecurities. I didn't want to choose a school based on comfort or my own abilities, I wanted to be faithful knowing that God will provide for me even if I felt like the resources were scarce...and so, I ended up with LMU. It's a choice that allowed me to be faithful to the commitment I made earlier to serve at SBECC. I'm not sure if this is the right decision or not, or if I'll regret it or not, but I do know that there are many ways for God to work in the time that I'll be at LMU.
